What Kind of Designated Driver are You?

We know that the safest way to get home after drinking is not to drive. That means that we either need to have phone numbers for taxis or rideshare services handy, or a plan that includes a designated driver. Designated drivers are unsung heroes, as we continue to rely on the kindness of our friends. When it comes time to return the favor, what kind of designated driver are you?

Our exceptionally scientific survey* has revealed four designated driver types, including:

1. The Abstainer-For-Life: You probably decided many years ago that you were just not the drinking type. You have reaped many benefits from your decision, including fewer hangovers and embarrassing moments. In exchange, you are probably the first person anyone calls when they need a ride home, but you will never, ever have to worry about how you’ll get home or if you will need an ignition interlock device.
2. The Parent-to-Be: You are either pregnant, trying to get pregnant, or you are abstaining from any alcohol in solidarity with your partner. Fortunately, your status means you are likely not going to get a very late night call for a ride home. You may, however, eventually reclaim those drinks you passed on… parenting is hard.
3. The “Pay Backer”: Your name came up as this weekend’s designated driver, and you know you need to take one for the team. You’re not bent out of shape, though, it’s the least you can do! Just remember that even one drink can break the designated driver code of honor and that the “least drunk” person is not the safest driver in the bunch.
4. The Storyteller: You are a designated driver for the sheer amusement of collecting stories of all the ridiculous things your friends do. You are a hero, and you get to tell the tales that your crew never wants to be told. You win bragging rights and a hangover-free morning.

Wherever you fall on the designated driver spectrum, you are doing us all a favor. Pat yourself on the back, and get some free drinks and appetizers while you’re at it. We thank you for your public service, and for all of the stories that will follow.

*we made up the survey, but the results are still pretty accurate.