What is a GOOD Drunk Driver?

Alcohol and everything go together like… well, alcohol and everything. Essentially, if there’s a reason to drink, people are drinking and doing their part to support local, national and international brewers, wineries and distilleries. It feels great to be part of such a community, and that’s before the alcohol even starts to take effect. The problem is that along with the intoxication of alcohol and friends for miles, alcohol leads us all into bad decisions. Even more unfortunately, those bad decisions often end with a GOOD drunk driver, an arrest or a fatality on our roads.

Wait, a GOOD drunk driver? What’s that?

A good drunk driver is a myth, one that only the intoxicated people seem to believe exist. It is a proven fact, somewhere, that any sober person will not look at someone who’s been drinking and ask them for a ride home. Good drunk drivers only exist in worlds where bad decisions aren’t quite as bad through beer goggles and wine wishes. But, let’s visit some of those GOOD drunk driver slogans, and you decide.

I’m a Good Drunk Driver Because:

• Drinking alcohol makes me more attentive at the wheel because I don’t want to get a DUI.
• I only have to drive down the road and I could do that blindfolded, anyway.
• I drink and drive all the time, I have a lot of practice.
• I’ve already had a DUI (and an ignition interlock), so I know what to do to stay out of trouble.

Assuming that anyone agreeing with those statements has already been drinking, it’s clear that the reasons people proclaim their expert drunk driving status is little more than alcohol-infused bragging. If you cannot make a decision to drive with an intoxicated friend while you’re sober, take that to heart and refuse to do so when you’ve been drinking. Furthermore, don’t be that GOOD drunk driver, either. You can’t drive, you’re just too drunk to make the safe decisions needed to get home safely.